Alchemist part One

Allen's frown deepened at Kalyan's words, squashing down the feeling of hurt that he felt at the thought of Kalyan not believing him. As the man descended the stairs into his lab, Allen backed away slowly, a cold stone of dread welling up in his gut. What if he hadn't imagined it and there really was someone down there? What if Kalyan got hurt? Allen didn't know what he would do if the red head got hurt...

But then Kalyan was coming back up the stairs, and there was a decidedly put out look on his face. At the red head's comment, Allen wasn't able to hide the flash of hurt that darkened his golden eyes for a split second. So Kalyan didn't believe him. But he was sure he'd heard something down there! No. He knew someone had been in that lab. The damned doorknob had jiggled in his hand!

"I heard someone inside," he insisted, glaring determinedly up at his tutor, "Someone opened the door, and it sure as hell wasn't me! You're the one that so securely locks your doors, do you really think I could get into one of them? But if you don't believe me, that's fine!" He backed away from the imposing man, and began moving towards the sitting room to retrieve his book and go home.

Allen's burst of emotion flabbergasted Kalyan. And people called HIM testy? He supposed that loosing a father might do that to a child. And yet, he wasn't so sure that he would be this way if his own old man passed on.

Befuddled, he watched Allen move away, silent as a ghost. The fire in his fireplace crackled in the background, and it caught his attention. His gaze landed on the flickering flames, and they hypnotized him.

As his eyes reflected the molten amber of living destruction, they unfocused, and his mind wandered.

Had he always been this hard to get along with?

The lick and snap of the flames carried his mind back, far back, into the depths of his memory. There had been a time that he had been a decent person, right? How long ago had that been, if ever? How much had the years changed him?

After what might have been a moment, but might have been an eternity of silence, Kalyan spoke to Allen -though unsure if the boy was even still there.

"Allen," he said, his voice as soft as the fire. "I was not always who I am, was I?" There was a strange thick distance in his tone, his lavender eyes still unfocused on the fireplace.

Allen stopped at Kalyan's words, ready to turn around and snap back at the man for asking him ridiculously obvious questions. But then he saw his friend's faraway look and could not say anything for a while. A pained look grew on his face, and he clutched his book to his chest.

"Like I said before," he replied quietly, not noticing the thickness of his throat until the words came out sounding choked, "I liked you much better when we were younger...." But that sounded much too horrible, his heart cried. And it was almost a lie! He still very much... very... "You are still very dear to me, Kal, it's just..." he flinched as he realized he'd used the man's old nickname. The name he used to call out as a child.

"I have to go home!" he finally said abruptly, shaking his head furiously and quickly making his way out to Kalyan's house. His mother would come home soon, and he did not want to leave her alone.

Kalyan stood silently and motionless as Allen practically tripped over himself in his rush to get out of the door. The silence stretched out for a long moment before Kalyan's gaze moved from the fire to the door, shut behind the young man. For a while, he simply stared at it, allowing the hurt to rattle around inside of his chest. His hand moved unconsciously to the source of his pain in an instinctual attempt to dampen it.

He shut his eyes, then stepped to the door and slammed his fist against it. This was always what he got for attempting to worry about anyone but himself. Allen was no different from his wretched father. They didn't care about him at all. Had they ever? They hadn't realized his changes until he was a totally different person. Kalyan knew he wasn't who he used to be. But they had played a big part in that change. They hadn't been there for him at all. But they always came back, begging for his help, and then throwing it back in his face when it didn't turn out just the way that they wanted it. It always wound up with the other person running from him in whatever way they could, leaving him behind to suffer the consequences of daring to trust someone other than himself.

How foolish he had been. Of course everyone was just as selfish and uncaring as they had always were!

He growled in frustration, and allowed anger to boil up to replace the pain Allen had inflicted. The feeling swarmed him, washing away the pain. He basked in it, reveled in it, only too happy to be rid of the awful feeling of not being good enough.

He wasn't sure when he picked up the coat rack by the door, but he was aware of its thick weight as he heaved it over his head and threw it directly at the fireplace. He watched the collision and reveled in how good it felt to throw something. He watched the coat rack catch fire and begin to burn, and he didn't care. Smoke billowed out and began to fill the room. The black tendrils reached out as if to caress Kalyan, and he smiled wickedly.

Then reality crashed over him, and he let out a harsh explicative, and set about putting out the fire, fixing what he had broken, and allowing the room to air out so that the smoke wouldn't damage anything.

Distantly, he became aware that he was about six feet from a deep, empty chasm. He could see into the blackness, so dark and foreboding. It was so close. And six feet wasn't too far of a distance to walk... especially in his condition. It was almost... enticing, exciting, and even thrilling to imagine taking that plunge down, down, down....

((^^; I'm not entirely sure what to do))

(Well.... Brainstorm!!!

BOOM! Perhaps....

- a scene with Allen's mommy
- a performance with the actors
- Allen could try to visit Kalyan, and find the door locked and barred
- We could try to tie in either Zamir or Torrin
- RANDOM ORGY -well, no. Not that. LOL

Or I could write more and find a way to pull Allen back into the light of the story. ^_^ Whatever you're up to!)

((hmmmmm, well i think i should write a scene in the life of Allen-when he doesn't go to Kal's-.. add some mommy drama... OH! what if add the part where Ashley tells allen off for playing so much when his father just died, and so Allen is devastated and "runs away -to the theatre-" and she can get worried and enlist Kal's hel, and then she can see "the way Kal looks at Allen" and so they can have an argument? oooh, maybe i can throw in the "he's always liked red heads" quote in there... maybe if they see Allen talking to Jo))

((That's perfect~!!!!))

(~Poke~ <3 I hope you had a good Thanksgiving~!!! Loves!)

Aw~ Happy Thanksgiving <3