The Alchemist and the World of Dreams

That smile combined with the softness in those dark eyes sent shivers running all through Zamir. An answering warmth flowed into the ever-shifting turbulent waves of emotion within him and remained at the surface, where it pulsed through his entire being in gentle, sweet throbs.

Toren's touch was gentle, and an answering shiver of delight ran down Zamir's spine. He closed his eyes and leaned into those pale fingers, his eyes flickering closed as he treasured the moment.

Zamir did not try to pull away or fight the other man's hold on him as he was led quietly up the stairs. Toren's movements were silent, but Zamir's were graceful and cautious, stepping in all of the right places to make the least amount of noise possible in the quietness.

As they entered Zamir's bedroom, and Toren's question softly filled the silence, Zamir could not find the will within him to deny the other man's request. He smiled a soft smile, his hand gently squeezing Toren's. "Then await me here. I won't be long."

He disappeared into the bathroom, grabbing his pajamas as he passed the bed. He was quick with his shower, his heart thudding in his chest as each precious moment flew off like the vanishing darkness outside. When he finished, he slipped on his underwear and pants, only to discover that he had not taken the shirt off of the bed. He had somehow missed it.

Choosing to not dwell on the matter, he combed his hair quickly, then used a strand of his own hair to wrap around the rest of it, making a makeshift hair tie in order to keep it out of his face. He noticed bitterly that the strands were curly now that they were wet. Annoyance flickered in him. He hated that particular thing that he had inherited from his mother. Every time that his hair got even the tiniest bit damp, then the strands would form a perfect, natural-looking curl.

...Annoying.

He breathed out a sigh, then slipped out of the door with two minutes of the requested ten to spare. Some water still dripped down his chest as he made his way back into the bedroom, but they were ignored. He didn't bother slipping on his night shirt either. He was too excited to hear about everything Toren was going to tell him about.

He looked up and spotted his guest immediately -his tall, pale form almost shining in the dark room- then smiled. "I'm ready. Do you just want to talk in here? Maybe sit on the bed?"

Toren stood silently in the center of Zamir's room, after having removed the tailored jacket, vest and shoes that Kalyan and Mai had dressed him in, leaving only his shirt and trousers. When Zamir stepped out of the bathroom, he once again greeted him with a grin, mirroring Zamir's smile with his own interpretation.

"Sitting on the bed is acceptable," he teased, walking towards Zamir and reaching out to touch a strand of curled hair that had fallen across his cheek. "Had I known your hair did such a thing when wet, I would have pushed you not from a cliff, but into a lake." He pressed a kiss to Zamir's forehead, though, as if to show he was joking.

As Zamir suggested, Toren sat down tiredly on the edge of the bed and sighed, looking away for a moment. The pregnant silence between them was suddenly more awkward than he would have liked. Toren had no idea what to say now. Without the security of his riddles and games, he was as good as laid bare before Zamir, a position he would never have thought he would put himself into willingly. But now he only smiled up at Zamir, his hands laying palm up on his lap.

"Where shall we start then, Zamir?" He asked softly, willing to answer Zamir any and every question.

Zamir made a face about the lake comment. "It might not have done that in the dream world. There, I was the person my mind saw as itself rather than the actual me. My hair was blue in the dream world, so who's to say that it would curl like this there?"

He closed his eyes as Toren kissed him, embarrassed. He blushed a bit, his eyes falling to the floor as he sat down beside of the other man on the bed. He curled up, putting his knees against his chest as he turned to Toren expectantly, then waited for the other man to speak.

The silence stretched on, and Zamir grew uncomfortable. Was he gathering his thoughts, or was his mind somewhere else entirely?

Then Toren was smiling at him, but Zamir didn't smile back. He simply examined that face, hoping that what he was planning to tell him would be the truth rather than a fantasy that had never occurred.

"Why don't you start after you threw me off the cliff?," Zamir offered. "I'd like to know my reaction to something like that." He was sure that he had either wet his pants and run off screaming or kicked the Sandking's ass.

...It was always an overreaction with him, after all. He couldn't be a calm, clever, witty individual. He was too easily angered or upset. And to learn what he'd done might just help to reassure Zamir that the stories were true.

Toren gave a snort of laughter, remembering just how Zamir had reacted. "To say you were very upset would be an understatement," he giggled, and began explaining every detail he could about his reaction, and how Toren himself had acted back.

They talked for what seemed like hours. By the time the sun had rose over the rooftops, they had both moved to lay across Zamir's bed, facing each other and talking in low voices so as not to interrupt the soon to awake household. Though the effect of peace was broken every time when Toren gave out a snicker or giggle at something Zamir said.

Black eyes glanced to the window behind Zamir, noticing that it was around late morning by the position of the shadows across the walls.

"I did not let you sleep," he said softly, a slow grin forming on his face gaunt, glassy eyed face. "In the past had ever been accused of keeping someone awake all night, this would not have been the scenario I would have imagined."

The morning light seemed to accentuate the dark circles under his eyes and the furrow of his brows. Over the hours of their talk, he had curled up on his side, arms around himself and his gaze piercing Zamir's almost stubbornly as if not wanting to even blink. It left his eyes red and tired-looking even as he rubbed at them every now and then.

Zamir truly enjoyed listening to all of the stories that Toren had to tell him. He laughed and absorbed all of the information that he had, but he could not ignore then dark circles under the other man's eyes, and the exhaustion that was evident on his face.

He knew that the stubbornness behind that dark gaze would be a problem. Zamir would not easily get him to sleep. At Toren's comment, Zamir laughed lightly, his expression carefree. He wrapped his arms around Toren and tugged him closer, with Toren's head resting against his chest. His hand wrapped around his head, holding him there against his heart.

"Well I don't mind staying up all night," Zamir said idly, smiling. "But it's even more fun if you get to sleep all day after being up all night."

He paused, thinking. How could he make the other man get the sleep that he desperately needed? He was going to get sick if this kept up....

An idea twinkled in the back of his mind, but he hesitated. Would it work? It had been so long since....

He sucked in a small breath, nervous, and then he began to sing. It was a soft, lovely song that his mother once sang to him when he was small. Her voice had been so beautiful, and he hoped that his would be even half of what hers had been, back then. The words flowed out of him, and the gentle flow of the tune was soothing in the silence.

I see the soul in my eyes,
Once it was beauty, but now it's blind,
All that remains is the
pain inside,
The memories of time that were lies,
They told me time is a healer,
Healing
hearts to bleed.

But a day can put a smile on my face,
And I don't wanna
wait.

This is my lullaby for love,
And I hope it will never wake up,
This is my
last goodnight kiss,
To save me always from my tears.

My way of life changed because of
you,
I hope you feel that my smile isn't true,
They told me time is a healer,
Healing
hearts to bleed.

But there's not one glamour of hope,
And someone sing my
song.

This is my lullaby for love,
And I hope it will never wake up,
This is my
last goodnight kiss,
To save me always from my tears, from my tears.

This is my lullaby
for love,
And I hope it will never wake up,
This is my last goodnight kiss,
To save me
always from my tears,
This is my last goodnight kiss,
To save me always from my tears

"Well I don't mind staying up all night," Zamir said idly, smiling. "But it's even more fun if you get to sleep all day after being up all night."

Frowning at those words, Toren pulled away slightly from Zamir and stared into those blue eyes. "I do not want to sleep," he muttered. "I do not want to lose Zamir from my sight again."

He let himself back into the embrace however, and let his own arm lay across Zamir's waist as the other whispered back.

"You won't lose me. I'll be here when you wake up."

He did glare softly at Zamir then, black eyes bleary and tired. "What if I do not wake?"

"Then I'll stay with you in the Dream World again."

Then Toren sighed, a weary almost relieved sound as he let himself be pulled back into Zamir's arms and he breathed in the boy's freshly showered minty scent. Those fingers in his hair, and his voice slowly pulled him into relaxing against Zamir, and his black eyes soon closed at last for the first time since he'd left the Dreamworld.

Zamir felt Toren's body relax into the oblivion of sleep, and he sighed his relief. He kept the dark-haired man close to him, waiting for sleep to reach out and take him as well.

Toren's voice rolled through Zamir's mind as he recalled the stories that had been told to him. So many of those had felt so... true to him, but some of them brought forth no reaction of emotion or nostalgia. He couldn't recall them at all....

He hated not knowing the past. It made him feel as if a big part of himself was simply gone. Missing. He held some joy from listening to Toren tell them, but... he ached to remember the happiness and pain from the actual experience. What he had felt as he slowly fell for the "evil" Sandking. How it had made him feel to know he would betray his heart and shove him into the vortex that would carry him away to the World of Awake, where he may never see him again.

Had Zamir been worried, thinking that his beloved would hate him for such a betrayal? And, most of all, had he given those memories up in the deal with the Sandshadows just because his own thoughts of Toren's possible hatred toward him were driving him slowly insane -adding to what was already happening while the Nothing gnawed away at his sanity...?

Zamir closed his eyes, frowning as his mind went onto a completely different set of thoughts.

What had happened to Acelin...? Had the Sandshadows swallowed him up, or was he sill there, waiting, plotting somewhere behind a closed door that he couldn't see? Was he going to make a move soon, or wait until they stop looking for him?

Zamir's hold on Toren tightened unconsciously. It looked as if he were finally heading in the direction of happiness and finding his purpose in life. What if Acelin came out of the shadows once more to burn down the last bit of happiness that he had left...?

Sleep swept over Zamir then, and he plunged into sleep. Almost instantly, he was absorbed by a nightmare with sweet, haunting music flowing in beautiful waves in the background.

The room was dark and dim as Zamir reclined in a relaxed fashion in the large bath. At first glance, most people would take the Greek-style bath as a large pool with lovely columns protruding out of the edges, where the stairs met the dry edge of concrete. There were oils mixed in with the steamy warm water, filling the room with the scent of peppermint and roses.

Relaxed and happy, Zamir leaned back against one column, his eyes drifting closed. The shadows around the edges of the room began to inch closer, wrapping him up in darkness as they wound around the surface of the water like fog. Somewhere, the sound of water running began, filling the silence. Something about it made Zamir feel eerie, and he shivered, his eyes opening.

The water was darker, thicker now. No... it wasn't just water anymore. Blood flowed in through the length of the bath, winding crimson tendrils all throughout. Horror filled Zamir, and he tried to rise to his feet, intent on fleeing the bath, but he couldn't move.

The explosion of a gun going off rang through Zamir's ears. A scream filled to the brim with absolute agony -more like the sound of a dying animal than a human, but half-formed words gurgled out with the scream, and Zamir recognized the voice instantly.

...Toren.

Fear cascaded over Zamir, and his soul screamed out. 'No!!'

Zamir tired to call out, to see where he was, how to get to him, but his voice wouldn't work. Acelin's voice drifted over him, through him, as if the foggy shadows themselves were projecting the sound.

'Hello, my son. Have you missed me...?' A dark chuckle, then: 'I have missed you, dear boy. It seems that this fallen Brat Prince has been keeping me away from you. Do you hear him scream as he dies? It is a most pleasurable sound.... I have been waiting so long to hear it.'

The sound of the screaming stopped, and the sudden silence made Zamir feel sick. 'Ahh... There we are. Now that he's out of my way.... I'm after you, my son. I have much to punish you for. That was only the beginning.'

The shadows formed the dark silhouette of a hand, and it came toward him, reaching. Zamir hoped that it would kill him, because even death would be better than the pain of the darkness that ate at him. The darkness that had only been kept away by the touch of Toren's hand....

Zamir awoke with a violent jerk, his arms still wrapped around Toren. He sucked in a breath, the room reeling with his fear. He touched Toren's face, desperate to know if he was alive and well as the remnants of the dream ate away at his sanity.

There was something wrong with him, Allen mused, as he lay in bed looking up at the dark ceiling of the hospital room. He could feel something churning inside him, like a foreign object gripping his heart like a clawed hand...

He felt cold suddenly, and the room became large and imposing, making him vulnerable and open.

"Mutter..." he called quietly, turning towards the door before realizing that it was far too late for her to be here anymore. She was probably warm and cozy in her bed by now. And Kalyan had gone home earlier as well, leaving him here. Alone.

The hand at his heart tightened a bit more, and his own hands flew up to clutch the sheets close to him. He must have looked like a child, hiding under the covers from the bogeyman. Even though he already knew the "bogeyman" and had nothing to fear from him.

He was alone.

He was always alone now, not matter how hard he tried to keep Kalyan or his mother at his side. Ever since his father died he'd become alone.

Finally, the silence around him became too much. It came to a point that he could hear the building groaning and breathing around him, and he reached out to grasp the radiograph his mutter had left for him. Quickly, almost clumsily because of the harsh grip that skeletal hand had at his heart, Allen rearranged the symbols on the graph face so that it would connect to Kalyan's, and held it tightly to his ear as it resonated.

"Please answer, Kal..."

Kalyan's sleep was light and restless. He had the uneasy feeling that something was wrong, but he didn't even begin to know what it could be about. He awoke every thirty minutes, looked at the time, then rolled over once more, closing his eyes in forceful annoyance, anxious for the next day to begin.

In one such instance, just as Kalyan was rolling over in his bed to close his eyes for the hundredth time that night, the radiograph in the corner of his room began to demand his attention. It whirred and beeped in an annoying clatter of noise.

Heaving a sigh and giving up on any sleep at all, Kalyan heaved himself up out of the bed and strode swiftly to the machine, all signs of sleep quickly fading behind the nervous ball of worry in his gut. Who could it be, and with what sort of news at this time of night...?

He picked up the receiver, his eyes sharp and focused once more. Perhaps it was a patient, needing assistance. That might be it. It didn't have to be bad news about Allen, right?

...Right?

His hand shook as he reached out. What if something had happened...? What would he do? Could he live with himself if he had let Acelin slip by him once again? No. He wouldn't. Especially if it cost him Allen's life this time.

Nervous, he placed it to his ear. "Hello?," he asked in his soft, smooth baritone, his voice professional and clear as he spoke into the radiograph. "This is Kalyan Ouroborus. May I help you?" He was shocked to hear himself so calm. It sounded as if nothing were wrong with the world, his life, or his princess.

Kalyan silently held his breath, waiting to hear the voice and its desires from his end of the graph, his teeth worrying nervously at his lip.

Allen clutched the radiograph tightly to his ear, counting the seconds that separated him from hearing Kalyan's voice, and cursing every moment that was filled with that sick silence.

His heart almost stopped beating the minute he heard him, and before he could even begin to think, he calls into the radiograph, "Kal-" But the calmness and almost clinical professionalism sound like a mockery to the panic he feels, and golden eyes dulled a fraction.

"No...it's nothing," he murmured into the receiver, wishing a whole could just swallow him up and instantly transport him to the other, "I... just wanted to hear your voice... I'll let you go back to sleep. Sorry." And moved to turn the device off, a sniffle escaping him as his finger sought the button.

Relief spilled over Kalyan at the sound of Allen's voice, and his professional demeanor poured off of his face. He perked up, and his face relaxed into a happy calm. It was so good to hear the sound of his voice....

But then Allen's words sunk in, and a desperate horror filled Kalyan. "Wait, Allen, no!" He clutched the radiograph closer, as if that would keep Allen on the other end. He wanted to reach through the machine, using it as his medium through the distance between himself and his lover, then embrace the fragile boy.

"How are you feeling?," Kalyan asked in a rush. "Is everything okay? Were you lonely? Are you in any pain?" He held the phone closer. "I'm not tired. I wasn't sleeping well anyway because I was worried about you, and wanted time to go by faster. I could've sworn that the second hand actually stopped for more than a second on several occasions." He chuckled blandly, unamused with his own ramble.

Almost unwillingly, the claw clutched around his hear loosened a bit as Kalyan's voice filled him with a warmth that only he could make Allen feel.

"O-oh..." he croaked, feeling his eyes burning for a completely different reason now. "I'm ok... I just wanted to talk... We haven't been able to talk for a long time." He didn't mean speak to each other, heck, they'd been constantly together, lived and breathed each other as they had tried a way to get him out. But they hadn't had a normal conversation in months...

He giggled at Kalyan's attempt to cheer him up, and curled further into the white sheets, "How is everything Kalyan? I mean... not about the Dreamworld or all that. D-did the theatre group disband, or did they find a way to pull through? How's your dad? How are you?"

Allen's laugh washed over Kalyan, and it relieved a tension deep within him that had been tight for far too long. How he'd missed it....

"The theatre group had to call off their performance due to your accident, but after that, they put on more shows. They're staying afloat, but they're eager to have their favorite actor back once again." Kalyan grinned. "Dad? He's as old and grumpy as ever. There could be a flood, tornado, and a comet crash on top of him and his old bones would come creaking out, like always, and he'd hobble off with his cane in perfect health."

"I'm great ...now," Kalyan said thoughtfully. "I have my Allen back."

"Come on, Allen. Recite something for us!" Josephine cajoled, leaning against her victim and hugging the boy to her that would have made any lover of hers jealous. Aldrik, however, seemed much too happy to have Allen awake at last to care just how much she was all over him.

Allen too was all smiles and laughs as he was yanked into the girl's arms. "You're horrid!" he cried, "I just wake up from a coma, and already you're working me to the bone! First party planning and now this!? Aldrik, get this vixen off me!"

"You'll have to oblige her, Allen, my man," The dark skinned man chuckled, "You'll never escape Jo's clutches once she has you. She likes to watch men squirm underneath her talons, you see..."

"Beast!" Josephine shrieked, letting go of Allen to strike her now fiancée's shoulder.

Allen laughed at their interactions, and then "Alright, alright! I'll indulge you so you can bask in my acting glory, and-"

"Poof, man." Aldrik nudged him playfully.

Golden eyes glared back humorously, and then Allen cleared his throat, holding up the book he was reading,

"Ah, broken is the golden bowl! the spirit flown forever!
Let the bell toll! -a saintly soul floats on the Stygian river - "

Allen's voice seemed to float around them gently, but passionately as he recited the poem. The library opened silently, and a dark haired figure slipped inside. It was Toren, most likely bored from the curiosity on his face at seeing new people in Kalyan's home, and at seeing Allen entertaining them.

"And, Guy De Vere, hast thou no tear? -weep now or never more!
See! on yon drear and rigid bier low lies thy love, Lenore!"

As if with no worry or mind that the group of friends might have found his abrupt entrance rude, Toren moved to stand near Allen's seat, peering at the small tome in his hands. The others were too enthralled by the young man's voice to care much.

"Come! let the burial rite be read -the funeral song be sung! -
An anthem for the queenliest dead that ever died so young -
A dirge for her, the doubly dead in that she died so young."

Toren suddenly snatched the book away from Allen's grasp, glaring into the pages even as everybody froze, including Allen. A second passed, and those thin fingers slammed the book shut, the owner of them turning that dark glare at Allen, "Wretches! ye loved her for her wealth and hated her for her pride, And when she fell in feeble health, ye blessed her -that she died!"

Allen blinked, then almost grinned, but schooled his face into a defiant scowl, "How shall the ritual, then, be read? -the requiem how be sung By you -by yours, the evil eye, -by yours, the slanderous tongue
That did to death the innocence that died, and died so young?"

Kalyan glowered at the group before him from his stool in the back corner of the room. He was sick of company at this point. He was normally a relatively unsociable person. The only contact he kept outside of family were either personal enemies or professional associations only. These people, though they were Allen's friends, were driving him crazy.

There was a reason he rarely entertained, after all.

It didn't help that Allen seemed to be hyper and loud and overly excitable with them around. But that wasn't really even the part that bothered him the most. It was the fact that -since those other two arrived to plan- Allen hadn't spoken even two words to him.

It was as if he were invisible.

He hated it. He hated to feel so impeccably jealous. It was so adolescent. Pitiful.... Pathetic, really. But that didn't keep the red-haired man from stewing darkly in his mind about all the other things he'd rather be doing.

Toren's arrival and plunge into Allen's charade was what broke Kalyan's patience. He threw up his hands in frustration, turned, and stomped toward the kitchen door.

"I haven't got time for this nonsense," he muttered through gritted teeth as he started to reach out for the door.

~~~~

Zamir moved down the hallway, scantly clad as he pondered over breakfast. He had been up for quite some time, but he hadn't bothered to leave his room until that particular moment. He had been nose-deep in a book that he had found in the floor.

He had only just recently grabbed a shower, and was wearing some black, skin-tight pants -which he had slept in- and nothing else. As he walked, he braided his hair as he sang to himself in order to fill the silence. The song simply flowed out of him in a haunting melody that Acelin had sang in the shower on several occasions.

How many times
That I have heard
The strange song
Of this one bird....

It sings to me
From my window pane.
The tune is haunting
And always the same....

Filled with screams
And soul-felt pain
And sad days
Full of rain

The sound twirls and curls
Throughout the night
It clings to me as I
Overhear its desperate plight

The shadows -they come and go
The tune begins to fade
While on the ground glistens
The tears that the bird made

The sorrow begins to lift
From my heavy heart
But is replaced by another
To know that we must part

Bittersweet is the memory
Because of what I learned:
This suffering is nothing more
Than what I have earn---

He stepped into the doors of the company area, then froze as he heard Toren's voice. He looked up quickly, freezing in mid-braid and mid-word in his song. His eyes widened as he saw the strangers inside, and he sucked in a sharp breath of shock.

Kalyan stood mere inches from him, almost -but not completely- covering him from view. He had the most peculiar expression on his face as he registered Zamir's... revealing presence, and he opened his mouth as if to say something, but only succeeded in closing it again without ever uttering a word.

Zamir sucked in one more breath, then swallowed loudly. "Oh my God, we have company," he said, his voice a high squeak. Before he had quite finished his sentence, he was turned around and headed back through the door that he had come through, rushing to escape. He flushed fiercely, embarrassed to the core that he had been strolling around half-naked anyway.

((Merry Christmas post!!! <3))


Allen vaguely noticed Kalyan exciting the room just when Toren joined in on his recital, and a flicker of a frown showed. He'd forgotten how...antisocial his lover was. The worry in his eyes soon left, however, when Jo struck up another conversation, this time including Toren. Sometimes, he reasoned with his nagging heart, Kalyan just needed some time alone.

~~~~

Mai walked unhurriedly through the halls of Kalyan's house, looking to and fro for Toren, or more specifically, Zamir. He knew that no matter how long, high and low, and which ever way, that Toren would continue to evade him. So, logically, Mai searched for Zamir, knowing that wherever the pale boy was, Toren would not be too far. Those two just gravitated towards each other and strangely, neither noticed.

He heard Zamir before he saw him, and the Chinese man followed the sound of the boy's singing down the stairs and towards the library, only to find Kalyan exiting the room, and Zamir wearing nothing but trousers and damp hair. He blinked at the silent exchange between Kalyan and Zamir, and was surprised when the boy realized they had company.

"oh.. are they friends of Allen's?" he asked.